American Psycho came out in 1991. Patrick Bateman -- investment banker, possible murderer, obsessive morning groomer -- spends several pages describing his skincare routine in exhaustive detail. Ellis meant it as a joke. It didn't quite land that way.
The routine has been shared millions of times online. It introduced a generation of men to multi-step skincare. Industries followed.
The Routine, Verbatim
The passage:
"I use a water-activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine..."
He continues through a full catalogue of products -- eye balm, aftershave lotion without alcohol, anti-aging eye balm, lip balm, moisturiser with SPF. The actual passage goes on considerably longer. Ellis clearly did his research. The products are real, and most hold up.
Breaking Down the Bateman Routine
Water-Activated Gel Cleanser
A solid product concept. Gel cleansers are genuinely good for most skin types -- gentler than foam, still cleans properly.
CeraVe Hydrating Facial Cleanser -- what most people would reach for now. La Roche-Posay Toleriane Hydrating Gentle Cleanser if you want something gentler. CeraVe Hydrating Facial Cleanser
The Body Scrub
On the body: fine. Physical scrubs work reasonably well on thicker body skin. Honey holds moisture, almond scrubs -- basic but not wrong.
On the face: skip it. Physical scrubs on facial skin create micro-tears, cause uneven exfoliation, and can introduce bacteria. Bateman applies a face scrub separately (see below), but if you're tempted to use a body scrub on your face -- don't.
Exfoliating Gel Scrub
Here's where the 1980s shows. Physical face scrubs were mainstream in the 80s and 90s. We know better now. Chemical exfoliants -- AHAs like glycolic acid, BHAs like salicylic acid -- do it better. More evenly, less trauma, no microtears.
The Ordinary Glycolic Acid 7% Toning Solution -- cheap and it works. Paula's Choice BHA Liquid Exfoliant for something stronger. Two or three times a week, not daily. The Ordinary Glycolic Acid 7% Toning Solution
Herb-Mint Facial Masque
Bateman's routine has him multitasking during the masque application, which is actually the only sensible productivity hack in the whole passage. Clay or kaolin masques are legitimately useful for oily skin -- they absorb excess sebum and temporarily reduce pore appearance.
Mint, though, is a red flag in skincare formulations. It feels refreshing but it's an irritant with no demonstrated skin benefit. Most modern formulations that include mint are doing so for the sensory experience, not your skin.
Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay is cheap and works well for oily skin. Kiehl's Rare Earth Deep Pore Cleansing Masque if you want something that comes in a proper tube. Dry or normal skin -- a hydrating sheet mask once a week does more. Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay
Eye Balm
One of the more prescient choices in the routine. Eye balms and eye creams for men were not widely marketed in 1987 -- Bateman's character caring about under-eye aging is part of the satire. The principle holds up. Eye skin is the thinnest on the face and shows age first.
CeraVe Eye Repair Cream for general use. The Inkey List Caffeine Eye Cream if dark circles are the main thing. CeraVe Eye Repair Cream
The Aftershave
This is arguably the best grooming decision in the entire routine. Alcohol-based aftershaves give that famous burning sensation precisely because they're stripping the skin barrier and desiccating tissue. The burn is not evidence of effectiveness -- it's evidence of damage. Bateman (or Bret Easton Ellis, or Bateman's dermatologist) got this one right.
Fragrance-free balm, or The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% + Zinc applied straight after. The Ordinary Niacinamide 10% + Zinc
SPF Moisturiser
Bateman's routine includes a moisturiser with SPF as the final step. This is correct skincare logic and was genuinely forward-thinking for the period. SPF as a daily non-negotiable is now standard dermatologist advice. The character applying it in 1987 is either very well-informed or very vain. Smart call, either way.
EltaMD UV Clear SPF 46. La Roche-Posay Anthelios Melt-In Milk SPF 100 if you want higher coverage. CeraVe AM Facial Moisturizing Lotion SPF 30 does moisturiser and SPF together. EltaMD UV Clear SPF 46
What Bateman Got Right
The cultural legacy of the Patrick Bateman skincare passage is that it legitimised men caring about their skin in a way that nothing before it had quite done. The satirical intent doesn't change the practical outcome: millions of men learned what a toner was, what an eye balm did, and why you shouldn't use bar soap on your face -- from a fictional investment banker.
The core philosophy was correct even if the specific products were of their time: cleanse, treat, moisturise, protect. That's still the framework. The ingredients are just better now.
Questions
What is the actual Patrick Bateman face wash?
The novel doesn't name specific brands -- it describes product types. "Water-activated gel cleanser" just means a gel cleanser used on damp skin. CeraVe and La Roche-Posay both have good versions.
Is the Patrick Bateman routine good?
For 1987, excellent. For now, the physical face scrubs are the main thing that hasn't aged well -- swap those for chemical exfoliants. The clay masque still makes sense. The SPF moisturiser was genuinely ahead of its time.
Why do men reference this routine?
American Psycho made it okay for men to care about their skin. The satire was the Trojan horse. It's also genuinely funny, which helped.
Do I need to do a 7-step routine?
No. Cleanser, moisturiser, SPF is the actual answer. The longer version above is for specific concerns -- acne, ageing, puffiness. Start with three and see what you actually need.